For DEB

This week my friend DEB passed away after a short but serious illness. It wasn't fair to lose her so soon after recently reconnecting, there was supposed to be lots of time while she recuperated.

I have reflected on the privilege it is to be part of DEB's circle for so many years. She never lost track of me, even after years and miles had separated us. She mentored me in many ways, most definitely in our shared profession of archives, but also as a reader and a writer. When I wrestled about career choices, she was emphatic in affirming instincts, giving advice, and encouraging bold directions. This past spring she told me to just get myself to BC -
"we'll figure the rest out once you're here."

In the late 1980s when we were both trying to make Toronto our new home, we'd meet for tea and journalling and her endless supply of homemade meringues at her apt near what Toronto called The Beaches; it was imperative for
DEB to live by Lake Ontario, one of the more picturesque neighborhoods. DEB's focus on you as an individual was intoxicating; she listened with rapt attention, she followed circuitous lines of association, she was always right there no matter where you went. She was the most present in all conversations; you had the sense that there was nothing more important in that moment than the conversation you were sharing.  DEB was a companion of gentle spirit and
infectious laughter; she could tease with great affection.

DEB spoiled us all with this gift of completely genuine friendship and love, and I miss her dearly. I think the standard she lived her life by was her richest legacy - honest, true, real, present, full, and above all so selfless.